John's Appendectomy

Life gets cray-cray people!  So remember how I mentioned EZ and I got sick in Arizona?  Well we think it was the stomach flu.  We both recovered nicely and fairly quickly though.  Somehow John must have caught it because he got really sick... but he kept staying sick.  He wasn't getting better.  I thought maybe he got another dose from someone at work or something.  It seemed like he'd start to get better, then it would hit harder and faster all over again.  He was toughing it out and still going to work!  Not to be too gross here, but he was having major bowel issues and body aches and chills. It had been about a week and a half until he decided he better go see a doctor.  He woke up around 2 on Tuesday, the 21st just feeling awful.  He asked me to go to the store and get him some medicine.  I was gone for about an hour.  When I got home, he took the car to an Insta-care by our house.  He called me about a half hour later with bad news.  They knew it was bad but couldn't diagnose without more intense testing so they wanted to send him to UVRMC.  John swung home and picked me and EZ up.  Yes, he drove us to the hospital.  I insisted he let me but he didn't want to move!  It was a fine drive, although I sure felt nervous the whole way!

We first went to the Lab area but they told us to go to Radiology because their equipment was better.  We swung around the corner, the only thing between the two areas is the Emergency Room, and checked him in.  Took about 10 minutes.  EZ and I went through a kid's bag the Lab people gave us and got to color and play with some stuff while we waited.  Isn't that nice of them?  Anyway, John came out after about 10 minutes of testing (CT Scan and stuff) and he tells me they think it's appendicitis.  We were both surprised because John had not thrown up once and his fever had only been about 1 days worth.  He said he didn't really realize he had pain in his abdomen until they mentioned his appendix.  Most of his pain was in his back.  We had to wait until the tests made it to the doctor so he could diagnose it and call back with the news.  It only took a few minutes.  From John's tone of voice and the things he said on the phone, I was sure it was something simple and no big deal.  Then John turns around and says, yep it's appendicitis and I have to get it removed right away.  It was a bit of a shock!  He sounded grateful that is wasn't something worse or something he had caused (like not being careful at work).

So we had spent about a half hour in the Radiology place.  Then we walked over to the ER and got admitted.  We got in a little room where they had John change into a robe and chill out on a bed.  The doctor and nurses came in and asked questions and what not.  John was joking around with all of them and exaggerating the ridiculousness of the situation! He told me later he was feeling kind of nervous and was trying to lighten the tension, both for his own benefit but also for mine and EZ.  We didn't need him to be freaking out!  We waited only about 15 minutes.  During this time I called both his parents and mine.  John's parents dropped what they were doing, alerted the family, and made their way to the hospital.  My mom was surprised that I was handling it so well.  She went through something similar with my Dad.  He got appendicitis when she was about 9 months pregnant with her first child.  He was in a wheel chair and she was carrying a suitcase.  They say everyone was giving them dirty looks.  No one could believe he was making his huge pregnant wife walk and carry stuff while he strolled in.  Funny right?  Well it still hadn't quite sunk in for me.  Everything had happened so fast.  John didn't seem too worried which kept me from worrying too much.  Plus, appendicitis isn't like the scariest thing in the world.  I knew he would be okay.

Anyway, EZ had been doing really well up until they rolled John into the surgeon's waiting room.  A few more people came and went asking questions and telling him what was to come and all that.  We waited in there only about 15 minutes then they had EZ and I walk out to the waiting room.  John's parents were there having arrived just a few minutes prior.  I didn't think it was all that necessary for them to come, but once I was away from John, it was sure comforting having someone else there.  They bought me dinner too!  I want to say it was about 7:30 at this time.  We waited about 45 minutes before the surgeon came out to talk to us.  He said once they got in there they saw that it was really inflamed.  When they started to remove it, it just fell apart.  So, to avoid infection they had to leave a drain in John's stomach and he would need to stay until Thursday.  That was about the worse they expected it to go.  (We were originally told the surgery takes about 10 minutes with about 15 minutes of anesthesia to kick in and he'd most likely leave the next day.)  Then he said it would be about 45 minutes to 1 hour before we could see him.  By this point it was 8:30 and EZ had had just about enough.  He was getting sleepy.  So I decided I would run him home and put him to bed.  Then I would have John's sister who lives near us come over and sit in our house while I went back to the hospital.  John's parents stayed at the hospital in case John woke up sooner, which he did.  Sadly, I wasn't there when he came to.  I got there oh about a half hour later!  He was a little groggy and seemed absolutely exhausted.  I stayed til about 11 then chose to go home.  He needed to rest and he wanted me to be able to rest too.  Being pregnant and all, I gotta keep myself in mind too.  I didn't sleep all that well that night, and apparently he didn't either.  Pretty typical I'd say.

The next morning I took EZ in to see him.  We only lasted about an hour.  Hospitals are just not kid friendly!  Way too many dangerous buttons to push.  John did get up and we took a walk together.  Being a nurse himself, he is determined to push himself to recovery.  He knows what he needs to do and he makes it happen.  He was better than the night before but I could tell he was still pretty out of it.  He said they think it was caused by the medicine he was taking.  All that bacteria was forced to back up in his system and landed in his appendix.  He had to take something though, he still had work ya know!

Well we went home and EZ had a nap.  I tried to clean the house and put up some decorations so that it would be nice and cozy for him to come home to.  After EZ's nap, I took him to his grandparents house so I could go back alone and be there with John for a few hours.  He was doing much better later that day.  He and the nurses said they expected he could go home the next morning.  So I left around 7, picked EZ up, and we went home and to bed.  Thankfully I got some good sleep that night.

So today, John called saying he should be able to leave around 10.  EZ and I got there about 9:45 but ended up waiting over an hour before we actually got to leave.  So, now John is home and napping, as well as EZ.  I'm here writing this whole crazy experience out so we can remember it for always!   Ha ha, or just for those that want the details!  John will have at least a week off work.  He isn't supposed to do anything intense or lift anything heavier than 20 pounds for 3 weeks.  So, he won't be able to get back to the stuff he wants to do just yet.  But, we're in no rush.  Just grateful for doctors and hospitals and family and friends support and so many things.  We were blessed.  I know it could have been much worse.  Of coarse we'll see just what the bill is yet to be.... I can't imagine emergency surgery is cheap!  But it's all good.  The most important thing is John is here and on the mend.

More good news

Well I guess it's about time we tell.  If you hadn't already guessed by the bigger house we moved into and the big van we bought.....I'm expecting!  It took about 4 months this time around.  Which really shouldn't have been any big deal.  Funny thing is, it happened when we finally gave up hope.  We said, whatever!  It will happen when it happens.  Then it happened!  After being two days late I took a test.  Then I looked up when my due date would be.  December 31st.  OF COARSE another December baby.  The exact timing I was hoping to avoid.  Just my luck right?  God has a sense of humor.

Well I've been way sicker this time around than I was with EZ.  I've thrown up several times (and still do occasionally).  I started showing at about 8 weeks and could no longer do up my pants.  I'm 15 weeks now and am in full blown maternity clothes.  They are still a little big for now but they are more comfortable.  I look farther along than I am and a lot of people are saying it's twins.  I really hope not!  I'm also zapped of energy.  Doctor said he guesses it's a girl judging on the heartbeat.  I kind of think it is because of how vastly different this pregnancy has been.  Part of me hopes it is so I can have one of each and be done if I want to.  But, we'll see.

So over July 4th EZ and I flew to Arizona to visit my family.  I surprised them all with the news.  I got a shirt for EZ to wear that reads, "I'm going to be a BIG brother" and didn't say anything until someone noticed.  My mom picked us up and noticed after about 2 seconds.  She had her suspicions she said.  Then when we got to the house my dad came out and I was holding EZ.  I said, "he has something to tell you" and pointed at his shirt.  Then we walked through the door and I awaited reactions.  After about a minute or two, my sister Cody sneaks in asking, "what does his shirt say?" and then everyone has to pause and read it.  It takes a second to sink in too.  They read it, think "oh cool," then realize I'm pregnant.  Haha!  It was so fun!!

The trip was fun most of the time, haha!  It rained a lot which put a damper on some stuff.  But we made up for it.  Brett brought fireworks again and although it wasn't as crazy dangerous as last time, it was still awesome!  I kept EZ up this time and he went nuts for the fireworks.  He LOVED them.  He even did about 5 sparklers.  He kept saying "fireworks" over and over again.  It was the first thing he said when he woke up the next day!  It rained so much on the 4th that they cancelled the big fireworks.  It was SO disappointing!  We got all settled and were waiting with our glow sticks and glow balloons highly anticipating the big beautiful booms in the sky and people started leaving.  A few people walked by us and announced the cancellation.  Boo!

We also had a silly dance party the night before.  EZ got really into it.  See for yourself,

Cody and I had a dance, Brett and Aaron did an impromptu Ice Ice Baby dance, Aaron and Janet and their kids did their "what did the fox say" dance, as well as other fun and games.  We were all laughing and sweating!  It sure always seems like it goes by too fast.  Too many people to see in too short a time.  We always talk about how we need to get together more often, and we do!  I told everyone to come visit us now that we have room enough for them to stay!  I hope they do ;)  Look at those 10 grand kids.  There are actually 11 but one was feeling shy.  This baby will make #12.  EZ especially liked his cousin, Landon.  I think he favors girls.  He followed her around and would ask for her if he didn't see her.  She was great with him too.    

Towards the end of the trip I started feeling sick again.  I threw up a few times and just had stomach aches.  I'm still recovering a bit but doing better.  I think EZ and I caught a bug because he got sick when we got home too.  Someone always has to be sick right?  OY!  But I gotta say, he did well on the airplane.  The way to he slept but on the way home he was awake and busy.  Thankfully the flight is just over an hour long.  He sure was happy to see his daddy too.  We were away from John too long!  But, it was totally worth it.  Can't wait for the next get together!!

Here are some more fun picks from the party...

 

 

 

 

simple pleasures

So, we moved.  A lot of good things are happening for us right now.  It seems like we are being overly blessed and I'm not sure we deserve it!  We talked to a realtor about short selling our old home and we are still working on that process.  It is totally scary because it pretty much ruins your credit for like 3 years.  So, before our credit took a hit, we decided we should probably move into a nice new place that we want.  We found a great town home in Springville a few doors down from John's sister.  She has 4 kids that just adore EZ.  They spend a lot of time at their Dad's though so we knew we weren't going to be bombarded with visitors!  (So far it's been perfect)  The house has 4 bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms.  It's a little too big but oh my it is nice!  Having more than enough space to store things has been wonderful.  We also have a garage!  I just find myself feeling happy all the time.  I just walk around my new home admiring everything about it!  We just got cable, internet, and a washer & dryer all on the same day.  It was like Christmas!  I love being able to do my laundry in my own home!  It's the small and simple things right?  I think living in that other place for so long made me value life's little pleasures!  Ooh like air conditioning!

Ready to move!

We also knew we'd want to get a new car in like a year but agreed we should also get it now while we have the credit to do so.  We expect our family to grow and so, we got a minivan.  It's a 2008 Honda Odyssey.  It's way nice and I feel a little spoiled driving it around with just one munchkin in the back.  But, it's proven very useful for transporting things!  Pictures to come...

On moving day some friends from our ward generously helped us move and expressed interest in buying our old place!  They have been looking for a rental property for their kids and it is so close to their house and everything... it would be really cool if that worked out!  We are hopeful and trying to do our part in making it happen and happen quickly.  The fewer missed payments we have, the less of a hit our credit will take.

I was about to throw out that box when I turned around to find him sitting in it... I guess he wanted to keep it a little longer!

Well I'm taking EZ to Arizona for the 4th of July.  He is finally going to meet my oldest sister and her family.  John was scheduled to work so he can't go.  We are flying and will be gone almost a week!  It will be both happy to go visit family, but also sad to be away from daddy for a long time.  I hope EZ does okay!

Hmm what else?  I'm sure there is something but I just can't think of it right now.... well, stay tuned!  I'm sure there will be something exciting to tell next time!

looking forward

So it would seem that after a lot of boring or bad, a lot of exciting and good starts to happen!  For example, I am loving doing hair again.  I really haven't done it that much so far but just the little bit that I have done has made me very happy!  My friend Staci is awesome too.  She just lets me work whenever and let's me pay her what I think is fair.  She probably thinks I pay her too much too!  It is just so nice to have that flexibility and none of the pressure of trying to earn enough.

Well John has a new job!  He is very excited to begin work at Provo Specialty Hospital.  He's wanted to work there since he first became a nurse.  It is an acute care center and he'll see different things all the time, so he'll get a lot of good experience.  They also offer great benefits.  The only down side is he has to start as a night worker.  That's gonna be tough seeing as summer is approaching.  But hopefully he doesn't stay on nights for very long.  At least they said they didn't think he would be.

Anyway, some other good news is we may have an option to get out of our house.  We are quite a bit in the whole you see.  Our place is worth about $25,000 less than what we owe.  We also live next to drug dealers, and let's face it, no one is going to want to buy or rent next to people like that!  We've been itching to move for a long time now but we've been stuck.  However, John may have a found us a way out.  We are hopeful!!

Another exciting thing that is happening is that John is graduating!!!!  This last semester has been one of the hardest for sure.  In every way.  We are so looking forward to summer break!  We also want to have a big celebration, just not sure what to do.  John wants to go on a cruise and for the first time ever, I don't.  I don't want to be away from EZ for a long time nor have to leave him with someone else for a few days.  Plus I want to save our money to help us move, or buy a new car, or put it towards a new baby (if we ever get one).  Hopefully we find something to do that we both agree on.

And for an update on our cute little 2 year old.  He is talking up a storm and becoming so independent.  We laugh at the funny little things he does all day long.  He loves so many things and has the hardest time ending stuff.  He hates to leave the park.  He hates it when friends leave.  He hates it when we turn his favorite TV show off.  He hates it when his bath is over.  He even hates getting undressed.  I'll take his pajamas off to get him dressed for the day and he starts crying and saying, "no" and picks up his jammies and proceeds to put them back on himself.  It's all very funny, but sometimes a real pain.  I'm eager to potty train but can't decide when to start.  Wish me luck!

Well that's a good enough update for now.  Thanks for reading!

Back in the Action

That title sounds more exciting than what I actually have to say.  I'm working again!  A girl I worked with for just a couple of months learned that I was wanting to work and needed a place.  She very generously offered to let me use her home salon.  She's letting me pay her a small amount too.  It's super convenient and even in Orem, where most of my clients live.  I started contacting people on facebook and got such nice responses.  So many people are excited to have me back!  I'm super excited to be back!  I've really needed this.  I worked last Saturday for only about 2 hours and I more than made enough!  I realized it's not even the extra money that I want, it's just fun to be doing hair again!  My spirits are lifted, I feel so happy!  Also, look at this cute face...  life is good :)

My Sister's Surprise

I should have written this sooner!  But here it is...  On February 28th I, along with my siblings, planned to arrive at my sister's house in Austin.  Unfortunately, our plans didn't go, as planned.  I woke up at 3:30 am to make it to my brother's house by 5 so we could get to the airport together for our flight that was scheduled to depart at 7 am.  We were flying first to Phoenix to have a short layover and then take a plane from there to Austin.  The exciting part was we were going to hop on my other sister's flight and arrive only about a half hour after my other brother.  Well, I checked my phone shortly after waking to see a text from my brother informing me that our flight was delayed.  I went ahead and got my gear together, then called him to figure things out.  He said he was on the phone with the airlines for a long time last night and the best alternative was to put him on a flight to Dallas and then another to Austin.  Our flight was delayed like 4 hours or something which would mean we would miss our connecting flight.  We had no idea when we'd be able to get out of Phoenix so we didn't want to chance it.  But, he suggested we just go to the airport as planned and see what they can do for us.  We got to the airport around 5:25 and the check-in line was crazy long.  So while waiting in line I called the airline to try and find a faster accommodation.  They went ahead and put me on my brother's same flight to Dallas but the connecting flight to Austin had since been cancelled. What were we to do?  We got on the Dallas flight around 9:30 and made it to Dallas just before noon.  Apparently Texas got a major snow storm and things were crazy.  Well they couldn't get us to Austin until the next day so we decided to rent a car and drive the 3 1/2 hours to Austin.  That was an extra hundred + bucks we weren't planning on spending.  We were all supposed to arrive within a half hour of each other so we could all show up on our sister's doorstep and blow her mind!  My other sister and brother arrived as scheduled and didn't exactly feel like waiting 3+ hours for us to get there, when the trip was already such a short one.  So they showed up at my oldest sister's house and surprised her with ice cream and her favorite pies!  Aaron and I got there a couple hours later.  My sister was just out of the shower and getting ready to go out that night.  We snuck in and sat on her couch.  She came in the room and was again, surprised!  The first thing she said was, "what is going on?"  We hung out at her house for a little bit then we went out to dinner at one of her favorite restaurants.

After dinner we went back to their house because Texas was cold and none of us brought a real coat so we didn't really feel like making any other stops.  We all foolishly assumed it would be nice weather!  Texas is supposed to be warm and for Texas to be so cold and Utah to be so warm was just madness!  Anyway, we had a great time reminiscing and spending time together like a real family.  Bronmin has a 6 year-old daughter who is just unlike any other kid!  We had so much fun listening to her "presentations" and the grown-up way in which she talks.  Her mind works faster than her mouth and it was a lot of fun to be around.  Well, we only made it til about 10 or so because we had all gotten up so early and were so tired, we just couldn't stay awake any longer.  Cody booked us a hotel close by and we crashed around 11.  I think we all slept in til about 10 the next day.  Brett and Cody were flying home that day but not until about 5, so we had some more time to play!  Unplanned was the part where we had to take back the first rental car.  That's us doing just that in the next picture.  We eventually made it back to Bronmin's around noon and were all starving so we went out to eat.  After breakfast we went back to Bronmin's and lounged and visited til Brett had to make his flight.  He's super dope and has that pre-screen deal so he was able to stick around longer because it only took him 5 minutes from when he got out of the car to reach his gate.  Pretty rad!  That's him on the right, me on the left and Aaron behind me and Cody next to him.  I sent this pic to my mom because she was desperate to feel like she was there with us.  It was too bad our parents couldn't make it, but it was kinda special to have just a siblings trip.  We'd never done it before, but I think we're all eager to do it again!

Family photos before we had to separate.

We had a great time just hanging out and talking like it was something we did every day.  We are all so far away from each other and don't visit enough.  One of my favorite things was Sunday morning when we first got to Bronmin's, her daughter saw Aaron and said, "You're still here!  Oh good, I get to see your cute face again!"  What a doll.  I gave her some jewelry that I made and at breakfast she sat next to me and at one point said, "You're the best person I know."  I love that little girl!  She is so cool!  I am just so bummed I don't get to play with her more often or see her when I want to.  Life is hard!

Anyway, things were coming to an end so quickly.  So Brett's flights departed on time.  He flew Southwest.  I gotta say, we were all wishing we had too.  So, Cody got a message that her flight was delayed, like 4 hours or something.  We were glad she got to stick around a bit longer but worried that she wouldn't get home on time.  Anyway, every hour it seemed she got another message pushing back her flight time, later and later.  It was 10:30, then it was Midnight, then it was 1:30, then it said 9!  Super confusing.  At that last message it was already 8:30 at night.  We didn't believe that last message but decided we might as well go to the airport and see what the heck was going on.  In the car on our way she got another message for a later time.  I realized at this point all I had eaten was breakfast, at lunch time.  I was hungry.  So we stopped at a nearby Denny's and had just received our drinks and my food when Cody got another message saying 11.  It was about 10:20 and we were less than 10 minutes away.  But we thought it was better to be safe than sorry so we quickly paid and got out of there.  She told us later that once she arrived to check in, the attendant actually told her that she had no idea what was going on and that the day had just been crazy.  Oh really?  Her flight finally took off at 11:45.  What a mess.  Aaron and I headed back to the hotel just bewildered by this terrible airline.  We were very nervous for the flights we were to take the next day.

We woke up Monday and headed over to my sister's and had breakfast with her and her husband.  We got to hang out for a few hours then had to make our flights and return the second rental car.  It was really hard to say goodbye.  Bronmin had told us, more than once, that this was the best birthday she'd ever had!  She really needed us and we were able to there for her.  Such a miracle!  Despite the airline disasters.  Well, that day everything was on schedule, thankfully.  The only real mishap was when we had to make our connecting flight.  The layover was only about 40 minutes.  We had some walking to do but made it to the gate with 20 minutes or so to spare.  Although when we got there we noticed there weren't many other people there.  The sign even had the wrong destination illuminated.  We didn't think much of this airline at this point so we weren't surprised that things were off.  But then my brother decided to use the restroom before boarding and as he was walking he heard an announcement that said our flight had changed gates and it was final boarding.  He came back over and told me what he'd heard.  Weird that the announcement wasn't played where I was sitting, where we were supposed to be...  Anyway, we made it and all went well.  Aaron's family picked us up.  They welcomed "us" home with balloons and a big homemade sign.  It was cute!

Utah was snowy and cold though.  I had driven my husband's car which I am not that comfortable with driving in the snow, so driving home was scary.  The windshield wipers are basically useless and the snow coming down made it hard to see anyway.  There were many times I went out of my lane and one time I thought I was on the wrong side of the road!  But somehow I made it home safe and sound.  Oh and I should mention I did slide back and forth quite a bit getting on the on ramp to the freeway.  Yikes!  It was such a relief to walk inside my door and see my husband and my boy.  It was the first time I was away from EZ and I was gone 3 days.  He took about 10 minutes warming up to me, which was a little sad.  I was hoping he'd run into my arms.  But we got back to normal in no time.  John had a good time being a stay-at-home dad for those three days, but he did give me a big hug and thank you for the stuff I have to do everyday.  I'm not sure how much longer he could have hung in there...

So, quite the traveling mess huh?  Honestly, I will never fly US Airways again.  Such a joke!  Other than that the trip was fantastic!  I wish we could do it every month.  I wish we were all billionaires that could visit each other when ever we felt like it.  Or by some miracle we all lived within driving distance.  Anyway, it was definitely a trip we will never forget!

Don't hold your breath

I'm feeling all sorts of things today.  Mostly bad, but some very good.  I'm not sure where to start.  I purposefully woke up at 5 am today so I could be tired early tonight.  I am waking up even earlier tomorrow to catch an early flight to Texas.  My siblings and I are surprising my oldest sister for her birthday.  It is beyond amazing that we were all able to take a few days and do this for her.  She has really been missing us too and I know it will mean the world to her.  It's been about 2 and a half years since I've seen her.  I'm not taking EZ, even though she hasn't actually met him yet.  We are just going for the weekend and no spouses or kids included.  I can't wait.  It's going to blow her socks off!

I am a little worried about leaving my boy behind.  I've never been away from him before!  He will be with his dad and perfectly fine, I'm sure...  Still, it's hard the first time.  I don't know what else I can say, except I hope John doesn't go crazy!!

Well after I woke up I took a pregnancy test.  We have been trying for a few months but no success yet.  I knew I was supposed to start my cycle soon but I wanted to find out one way or the other before my trip tomorrow.  With a very hopeful heart I eagerly waited and all too quickly found out that I was in deed, not pregnant, again.  I'm sort of used to the disappointment now.  Lo and behold about an hour later I started my period.  A day early too, ugh!  So, I just don't know why it's taking so long.  The first time I got pregnant, it was such a surprise.  I mean, we were being very careful!  Then I had my miscarriage.  After being perfectly careful for 3 months, I got pregnant immediately with Ezekiel!  One and done.  I've been off birth control for 4 months.  If I didn't get pregnant so easily the first couple times, I wouldn't feel so worried now.  I mean, we are actively trying.  I just don't get it.

I thought writing about it might be cathartic.  I do feel a little better.  I know it's not fair to assume it'll be so easy every time, it isn't for so many others.  I guess I'm just a little annoyed that I think I can't feel that badly or be that concerned because I have to compare myself to other people and have to understand that my feelings are useless.  Well, pain is pain!  With all the other crap that has been going on lately, I just wanted this one thing I thought I could have.  I thought it would be something I could control.  The only thing I could control... but, it's becoming a dream.  Like so many other things.  Plus I hate it when people say, "it's all on the Lord's timing."  Honestly?  Do people believe that?  You think I have to go through some test or something?  Personally, I believe God wants to send down as many children as possible.  It's science that makes it happen or not.  Maybe that's just me.  But we all know the best people in the world who can't have children and some of the worst that do.  Science.

Anyway, again it just feels like I'm waiting to be happy.  Everything is out of my control.  I HATE that feeling.  I really want to go back to work too, and I can't.  John is too busy with school and work, I couldn't possibly have any type of job right now.  Plus for some reason the people at Fantastic Sams don't seem too interested in having me back.  Ha, their loss.  I'm awesome!  Blah, anyway.... I really really want to move this summer.  I don't care where, as long as the house is bigger and preferably nicer.  I am all set to start packing and de-junking and fixing our place up for someone else to take over.  Then the other day John said he thinks we are going to live here for 3 more years.  WHAT?!?!  I could not handle that so I changed the subject and haven't brought it up since!  Writing all this reminds me of a post I wrote a long time back about how tired I was of the constant struggle of life.  It is too damn hard for some of us.  We work ourselves tirelessly and get such little reward.  We try and try and give and give and are blessed with more trying and giving.  What?  Where is the happy?  Where is the joy?  People will work all year long to take one small vacation a year?  If that??  How is it that I haven't seen my sister in almost 3 years and she hasn't even met the last 3 kids born in my family?  There is too much mediocre.  Boo!  There is too much waiting for things to get better.  Boo!  I know I am past my prime, hello!  I am only going to get older, fatter, wrinklier, weaker, more tired, more cranky, bla bla bla.  Every time I vent like this I feel like I have to make myself sound better and not so miserable by acknowledging the blessings in my life.  Yeah I know, it could (and often does) always get worse and I am grateful for the small and simple things.  Just be patient with me, I actually do know how to be positive.  But this time, I just feel like sulking.  I'm tired of fooling myself.  Just deal with the pain already.  Accept it.  That's what I'm choosing to do this time.  Sorry if you expected more, then you fooled yourself too.

And only because I want to end on a more positive note, check this out

 

I am posting this the day after I wrote it so as not to spoil the surprise for my sister.  Plus, by then, I'll be in a much happier place, emotionally!  But look at us, we know how to have fun :)