I've been hanging on to this post for a while. I've been editing and editing and finally it feels just as perfect as can be. This is our story. How John and I met and came to be. It just happens to fall on our 6th anniversary and my 100th post. Pretty cool!
The time was July, 2006 in Orem, Utah. It was fast Sunday in my singles ward and a friend of mine named John, got up to bear his testimony. This John was from Oklahoma and we had met just a few weeks earlier. In his testimony he mentioned that an old friend of his from when he lived in St. Louis, also named John, was now in our ward. He looked over at John and I followed his gaze and saw my husband for the first time. (Although I had no idea) John noticed me that day too and decided he wanted to get to know me. At the end of church, Oklahoma John invited me and a few other friends, including my John, over to his house after ward prayer to play games. After my John heard me say I would go, he then planned to go too.
I was in charge of ward prayer. Once the message was over and the socializing began, John came over to me and said, "you look like someone who listens to good music" (his classic line) We talked briefly, my roommate taking up most of the conversation... then afterwords we went to Oklahoma John's. I need to mention that Oklahoma John was a very flirty-friendly guy and although I wasn't into him, I flirted back. I was single and enjoying myself! So, my also very flirty (not to mention forward) roommate, who I'll just refer to as C, suggested that we play Truth or Dare. Nothing too crazy happened, but by the end of the night I could tell C was going to pursue things with my John and my John went home that night thinking I liked Oklahoma John. Such a conflict of interests...
I think I should mention here that C and I had a history of not getting
along all the time and at this time it was especially difficult. Our
"friendship" was coming to an end. I can't say why exactly, other then
the fact that I just didn't find her a very good friend.
Sure enough C was pursuing John (as well as a few other guys...) but it didn't turn into anything. As did nothing happen between Oklahoma John and I. About a month went by.
One night at ward prayer John and I were talking. We were making group plans and needed to exchange numbers. He told me to get his # from C. Since C and I weren't exactly talking I told him to just give it to me now. He told me a few weeks later that he knew then that I could be interested in him since I asked for his number. He said it was his own little test. Really I just didn't want to talk to C, especially to ask her for the number of a guy she liked that I was now going to hang out with... Coincidence none the less.
So for that whole week John and I hung out almost every day. He came bowling with me and my friends, we hung out at a local music show, he came over to a house party that I had, sat by me in church... just lots of hanging out. By that following Sunday I was thinking he was a pretty awesome guy. Easy to get along with, cool, and down for anything! After ward prayer that night he called me and asked me if I'd like to go on a date sometime. I said sure! After we hung up, I was so excited that I called 3 of my friends and told them the good news!
The next day everything felt different. It was becoming obvious that John and I were headed somewhere together. It was new and exciting. We ended up at John's apartment and watched a movie. He held my hand and it made me really happy. Shortly after he leaned in to kiss me and I leaned away. I was shocked that he was moving that fast! I had just realized this guy liked me! I told him it was too soon, and he was perfectly fine with that. So he waited 2 days and tried to kiss me again. I guess he thought that was long enough. Dude, come on! I felt bad after denying him twice that the next day, I let him kiss me. Ha! So this was now mid-September.
A little background here; most of the guys I chose to date were pretty much inadequate. I was not ready for marriage so I chose to date guys that I knew I would never marry. Smart right? Not really. So dating John was really different for me because I knew John had serious potential. John's background on the other hand; he had been in a serious relationship where he'd proposed to his girlfriend... she turned him down. That heartbreak made him cautious of expressing his feelings. He didn't want to feel vulnerable. Which was unfortunate because I was not about to open up to someone who refused to open up himself. Plus I didn't want to rush anything. As a result, we casually dated for about 7 months. We liked each other a lot and would joke about not saying 'I love you'. We had a lot of fun but, after a while it just got routine. We weren't going anywhere.
In April John planned a trip to visit his home town of St. Louis for a couple weeks. Just before his trip he started acting weird, and distant. I had a feeling he was going to suggest taking a break those 2 weeks he was going to be gone. Admittedly, some time apart sounded like a good idea to me. So, sure enough right before he left he broke up with me completely. I was painfully surprised and totally balled afterwards. I cried about every day for a week. I was confused and had trouble functioning without him. I tried seeking advice from just about everyone and actually learned a lot about my feelings for him in that week. Resulting in the feeling that being without him felt wrong.
On his trip he called me every couple of days, which I thought was weird since we weren't a couple anymore. It made things almost worse for me, but John was determined however, to stay friends. In his second week he apologized for letting a few days pass without calling. I told him it was ok because he didn't owe me that since we weren't together anymore. That hit him kind of hard. He was really missing me and started second guessing his decision to break up with me. When I said those words "you don't owe me anything" he knew that he could lose me forever, and he didn't like the thought of that.
About a week after he got back he called me and asked if I'd like to go get food with him. We went to Subway and then walked around a park. It was nice. Then we ended up at my house talking about "us". He brought it up and I wasn't sure what to say. I told him I was trying to move on and it got a little sticky and he left. I was kind of angry and annoyed. Why did he have to bring up the pain? About an hour went by and I noticed a missed call on my phone from John. I had only stepped out of my room for a minute when he called so I called him right back. He expressed he was grateful I called back because he really wanted to talk about something. He told me when he left my apartment earlier he stood outside for a minute dazed and couldn't remember where he parked. He eventually made it home and sat down in his room staring at his phone for an hour debating whether or not to call me and tell me how much he's been missing me and how he's been hoping we could talk sometime about getting back together. I couldn't believe it! Although shocked, I was happy and agreed to think things over.
I spent the next day constantly thinking about John and when he came over later, we had a good talk. He said he didn't know what he wanted until he didn't have it anymore and basically told me he never wanted to be without me again. I told him I hadn't been ready to give up and I wanted another chance. We agreed to get back together and he leaned over and kissed me. It was so sweet I even shed a tear or two out of joy. This was May, one month after we broke up.
This time things were really different and so much better. John constantly told me what he liked about me and how much he liked me and he unintentionally slipped in the "L" word a couple times. He started talking about getting married almost right away. I knew he was ready, but I was not. Marriage was not an easy concept for me to grasp, it's a huge and scary decision! Plus, things were just getting back on track and he was almost like a new person, having opened up now. Things had changed and I was still adjusting. It took me 3 months after getting back together before I told him I loved him. He finally got something, but I pretty much put John through Hell with how long it took me to decide to marry him. I felt like I should take as long as I'd like to decide. I refused to rush into it. So here we were, John and I, about 5 months after we got back together and I was still trying to figure my feelings out and he was about out of patience. We were driving back from Salt Lake one night and I was going over in my head something a friend had just said about taking your time. When I spoke to John about it, well, it about pushed him over the edge. He was done trying to convince me. He started yelling at me! As I listened to his reasoning, a feeling came over me that hey, I do want to marry him. So that's what I said. It was something like, 'John, I want to marry you.' Simple as that. He was taken aback. He was about to drop me off and be done with me forever because he just couldn't wait anymore and I tell him I've finally made up my mind?? Well, yeah. I gave him a kiss goodnight, got out of the car and went inside my apartment. He just froze. He couldn't quite comprehend what just happened.
The next day I went over to his house and said we needed to pick a date. He double checked with me to make sure that I was serious about getting married. I probably would have too if I were him. Then he called his mom with the good news. Since it wasn't an official proposal, I didn't see the need to walk around telling everyone we were engaged. I just emailed my family telling them all we were wanting to get married and thinking about Christmas time. I'm not sure my family took me seriously at first but it didn't matter. They figured it out eventually!
We began planning the wedding. Finding the right ring was a problem. None of the ones I looked at meant anything to me. I didn't like the idea of just a pretty sparkly piece of jewelry on my finger that had what seemed like little or no other symbolism. One night while I was laying in bed brainstorming what to do, I remembered my Grandmother's ring. It was special because I never met her. She died before I was born. Her wedding ring is a gold band with rubies inside of sketched out flower petals. Ruby is my birthstone. My mother gave me this ring when I turned 16. I know that was a big deal to my mother, so it was a big deal to me. It is the one thing of hers that I have that keeps me feeling close to her. I even wrote a paper in High School about it and how much it means to me. So, that was that. I would design a ring after my Grandmother's. I thought it would be so cool to make a modernized version of her ring. I didn't tell anyone in my family either. I wanted to show them in person and especially surprise my mother, hoping it would make her cry!
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We picked Friday, December 21st, 2007. Christmas time was not the best time to plan around. So we tried to make things as easy and simple as possible. I probably should have been more interested in detail but I wasn't. We picked Timpanogos Temple because it was closest. Since I moved around so much growing up, I didn't have my heart set on any special place. We considered St. Louis, but because of budget and convenience, we decided against it. I moved into our new apartment a few days before the big day. My very best friend ever came in from Colorado and stayed at the apartment with me, as did my parents. I'll never forget when my parents walked into the apartment, took a quick tour then asked to see my ring. My mom took my hand and looked at it ever so curiously. She started to say something then stopped. I asked her if it looked familiar at all. She looked at me with shiny eyes and I said, "I had it designed after grandmother's ring.' Yep, goal complete, I made her cry! So, the ring means something, not just to me, but to my family too!
Just some quick details of the wedding day and honeymoon...
Our sealer was just fantastic and he said some things I'll never forget. Our wedding was lovely, and freezing! We didn't get a lot of pictures because of the weather. I might have been the only one who stayed warm because I wore white winter boots and a white winter cloak with my white wedding dress! (Throw in the white snow and white temple, it was just a lot of white!) We had our reception at a church in Lehi near John's parents house. We had a great caterer and everything was beautiful.
We spent our first night together at the Anniversary Inn. The next day we flew to Florida for our honeymoon. We had a blast and so enjoyed the sun! Spent Christmas morning with John's brother Tod and his family. Oh and I even got to go sailing, a long dream of mine!
Now here we are, 6 years later and things just continue to get better and better! I love my amazing husband so much and I'm so grateful he is patient and sticks with me. I love his hilarious personality and endearing charm. He is so smart and still so easy to get along with. My family often tells me how awesome he is. I couldn't agree more! I love you John, and look forward to the rest of our lives together! Happy Anniversary!
